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Now let’s take a quick peak at the basics of developing rapport with others. In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask questions, have a positive, open attitude, encourage an open exchange of communications (both verbal and unspoken), listen to verbal and unspoken communications and share positive feedback. Here are a few details on each step.
Ask Questions – Building report is similar to interviewing someone for a job opening or it can be like a reporter seeking information for an article. Relax and get to know the other person with a goal of finding common ground or things of interest. You can begin by simply commenting on the other person’s choice of attire, if in person, or about their computer, if online, and following up with related questions. For example, in person, you could compliment the other person on their color choice and or maybe a pin, ring or other piece of jewelry and ask where it came from. In online communications, you could compliment the other person’s font, smile faces or whatever they use, mention that the communication style seems relaxed and ask if he or she writes a lot. Then basically follow up, steering clear of topics that could entice or cause arguing, while gradually leading the person to common ground you’d like to discuss.
Attitude – have a positive attitude and leave social labels at home (or in a drawer, if you’re at home). Many people can tell instantly if you have a negative attitude or if you feel superior. So treat other people as you would like to be treated. And give each person a chance.
Open Exchange – Do encourage others to share with you. Some people are shy, scared or inexperienced in communicating and welcome an opportunity to share. So both with body language and verbal communication invite an exchange. Face the other person with your arms open, eyes looking into theirs gently (not glaring or staring), and encourage a conversation with a warm smile.
Listen – Be an active listener. Don’t focus your thoughts on what YOU will say next. Listen to what the other person is saying and take your clues from there, while also noting the body language. For example, if the other person folds his arms and sounds upset, you may need to change the subject or let him have some space and distance; maybe even try approaching him later on and excusing yourself to go make a phone call (of head to the buffet table or somewhere to escape). On the other hand, if the other person is leaning towards you, following your every word and communicating with your as if you were old friends, BINGO. You’ve built rapport!
Share – People like compliments. So hand them out freely without over doing it. Leaving a nice part of yourself like a compliment is a good memory for the other person to recall - -numerous times. That’s good rapport. But do be sincere! False compliments aren’t easily disguised.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
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Developing Rapport |
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Reading People |
Body language is the meaning behind the words or the “unspoken” language. Surprisingly, studies show that only up to an estimated 10 percent of our communication is verbal. The majority of the rest of communication is unspoken. This unspoken language isn’t rocket science. However, there are some generalizations or basic interpretations that can be applied to help with the understanding or translating of these unspoken meanings. Here are some basics below.
Smile – People like warm smiles. Think of a heartfelt warm-fussy, maybe your favorite pet, and smile.
Eyes - -If you don’t look someone in the eyes while speaking, this can be interpreted as dishonesty or hiding something. Likewise, shifting eye movement or rapid changing of focus/direction can translate similarly. If more than one person is present in a group, look each person in the eye as you speak, slowly turning to face the next person and acknowledge him or her with eye contact as well. Continue on so that each person has felt your warm, trusting glance. Some suggest beginning with one person and moving clockwise around the group so that no one is missed, and so that you are not darting around, seemingly glaring at people.
Attention Span / Attitude – Other people can tell what type attitude you have by your attention span. If you quickly lose focus of the other person and what is being said, and if your attention span wanders, this shows through and makes you seem disinterested, bored, possibly even uncaring.
Attention Direction – If you sit or stand so that you are blocking another in the party, say someone is behind you, this can be interpreted as rude or thoughtless. So be sure to turn so that everyone is included in the conversation or angle of view, or turn gently, at ease and slowly, while talking, so that everyone is incorporated, recognized and involved in the conversation. Again some suggest the clockwise movement when working a group.
Arms Folded / Legs Crossed– This can be seen as defensive or an end to the conversation. So have arms hang freely or hold a glass of water, a business card or note taking instruments while communicating with others. Be open with open arms. Note: If you need to cross legs, cross at your ankles and not your knees. Sitting tightly folded up says that you are closed to communications.
Head Shaking – This is fairly accurate. If people are shaking their heads while you speak, they are in agreement. If they are shaking, “no,” disagreement reigns in their minds.
Space / Distance – On the whole, people like their own personal body space. Give people room and keep out of their space. Entering to close can be intrusive and viewed as aggressive.
Leaning – Sitting or standing, leaning is viewed as interest. In other words, an interested listener leans toward the speaker.
Note others’ body language – While you are with others, note how their bodies read. If a person suddenly folds his arms across his chest and begins shaking his head “no,” you’ve probably lost him. Might try taking a step back and picking up where the conversation began this turn for the negative and regroup. It’s all about strategic planning!
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Back to Basics |
“All we need is love.” Myth or not? Since love does seem to be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on television and at the movies, this seems like a reality. However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth here.
Let’s take a peak at some of the more common concepts above “love” relationships and see if they are myths or based upon reality.
Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can look into each other’s eyes and have those warm fuzzy feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups and downs. “Happily ever after” seems to imply a perfect, problem-less relationship when in reality, those don’t exist.
It has to be “love at first sight” in order to work long-term. Myth or truth? While this can be true for some, it certainly doesn’t have to be for all couples in long-term relationships. Many people grow together over time.
Since practically anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of relationship building, focusing on some basic techniques that can be learned is a must. The main ones, in no particular order, are:
- Read: “Read” people well.
- Rapport: Develop rapport with others well.
- Finesse: Have some finesse; i.e. handle conversations and activities in a cordial manner
- Conflict Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts without too much friction
- Support Co-Op: Gain the support and cooperation in working towards a common goal
On next post, let’s take a little closer look at each and what learning is involved.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
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Advance Matching |
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Online dating is the place to practice your game. So you have decided to date and you are thinking about online dating. Online dating has advance matching benefits.
How dificult is it to join the online dating sites, and are they safe? Hundreds of happy people across the globe have been successful in finding suitable partners by the means of Online dating. One of the great temptations of online personal ads is to embellish the truth about yourself.
You can easily have more fun when all of the pressure is off. Most of us are creatures of habit and keep searching for the same type of date over and over. Unless you date outside your box you will never know if maybe someone different just might be your type.
Although you want to find someone that attracts you and that you share things in common, don’t limit yourself to what you think is your type. It is possible to remain anonymous while you search for new partners or dates on the web. Anonymity is important to most people these days when taking a chance with online dating.
Many of the better dating sites include some advanced personality matching. Describe what you need and want in a relationship. By joining an online dating site you are extending your opportunities of meeting someone. If an online dater sends you threatening e-mails or makes you feel uncomfortable, you can simply report them to the online dating service and have their account revoked.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
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Alternative Dating |
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The concept of finding a life partner with the help of the Internet is a fairly recent concept. As the online dating community has grown, so too have the number of vendors willing to help you promote yourself.
Online dating has many benefits. Dating has been changed by the emerging popularity of meeting partners online. If you are joing a dating site, take the time to say something about yourself, your lifestyle, your interests and the type of person you're hoping to meet.
You are practising to find the right guy or the right girl. accept that your first online date is not going to necessarily turn into marriage.
If you are tired of seeing the same old faces when you go out, there are people of all age groups all across the country waiting online to meet someone. The better online dating services devote money and personnel to quality control. Most of us are creatures of habit and keep searching for the same type of date over and over.
You can upload a picture to your online dating service if you want, but it is not required. Remember to be cautious because that anyone with Internet access has access to the online dating websites. Online dating is the single best method for meeting partners today if you approach it properly.
Whether you find your date online or in person, you could end up with a true love or a broken heart. Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years. Online dating is not all fun and games and there are a lot of things that a person has to know about online dating before one gets into the intricacies of it. On the net, you can meet thousands of potential partners and still stay at home.
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African-American Online Dating |
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Most people turn to online dating sites to find love. Are you considering joining an african-american online dating site but not sure it’s for you? Finding someone to date is easier with a little help from your friends.
You are practising to find the right guy or the right girl. accept that your first online date is not going to necessarily turn into marriage. Hundreds of happy people across the globe have been successful in finding suitable partners by the means of Online dating. J. Lo said, 'love don't cost a thing'.
90% of people find accents sexy. Many online dating sites are free to join, which means that you can put your profile online for free. Dating is about getting to know people and then seeing if you enjoy spending time with them, so bear this in mind when you are trying online dating.
With online dating, you are hidden behind the anonymity of the internet and you can erase your mistakes a lot easier than you could if you had goofed up in real life. You must take care in setting up dates with strangers online. Show your potential dates the real you.
There are over 30 million links on Google when you do a search for 'on-line dating'. Online dating is the single best method for meeting partners today if you approach it properly. With a responsible attitude and an open mind, online dating can be fun, safe, and exciting. Online dating is now a huge industry.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
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Adult Dating Personals |
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dating, adult dating
Dating is a challenge at any age and for both women and men, but online dating can be les stressful than traditional dating. Regardless of what you've been told about internet dating, it's not always as easy as 1,2,3.
Humour is a real ice-breaker. Try to be a fun person. A couple of years ago online dating still had a stigma attached to it. In the world of online dating. be as safe as possible but above all, have fun!
If you meet a few people online in your area, you can arrange a get together for you all rather than meeting on a one-to-one basis. Online dating is as safe, and in some ways safer than meeting people offline. Most sites have online dating sites have help should you have any questions or need assistance.
Take your time with the process. Don’t let anyone rush you. You are not committed to meeting anyone. The online Singles/Dating business is very popular and competitive. Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years.
Some dating websites require a fee to enjoy certain benefits, such as the ability to post a picture or short video. Whether you have been dating for years, getting back in the game, or just starting out, you could always use a bit of dating advice. Now that dating on-line is an acceptable way to meet your match, women often are making the initial contact. There are many online dating sites that have very short sign-up processes and others that require you to answer lots of questions.
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Adult Dating Online |
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adult dating, dating online
Over the past 20 years the face of dating has gone through some noticeable changes. A lot has changed since the days of matchmaking and escorted evenings out. As more people flock online, there are companies ever more eager to jump on the dating bandwagon.
If you are joing a dating site, take the time to say something about yourself, your lifestyle, your interests and the type of person you're hoping to meet. Men and women have moved their search for love to the internet simply because it is the most convenient in terms of time and money. In the world of online dating. be as safe as possible but above all, have fun!
The online dating sites are pretty simple to interact with. There are some online dating sites that do compatibility testing and personality profiling. A recent survey indicated that over 40 million singles have used or are currently using online dating services.
People can often contact you for free, but many online dating sites charge if you want to contact others although this depends on the site. Online dating can be a great confidence builder. It is possible to remain anonymous while you search for new partners or dates on the web.
Everyone wants to know if Internet Dating actually works. Easy access to the web has led to an explosion in the number of online dating services. Many of the better dating sites include some advanced personality matching. There are many opinions about the effectiveness of online dating.
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100 Free Online Dating Service |
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online dating, free dating service
Create a great profile at your dating website and the first email that you send to another member an absolute stunner. Online meeting has become a norm, and is gaining in acceptability. Seems like everywhere we surf on the Internet nowadays we run across this little advertisement: 'Free online personals'.
The emergence of the Internet and the Web has transformed our planet into a digitalized global village. Online dating is simply a free dating service that you use via the Internet. If you are looking for a date, but still are a bit skeptical about using an online dating service, give it a try.
Some dating web sites just ask for very basic information before attempting to match you to a potential partner. By using an online dating service, you don’t have to wait until the weekend to meet someone. You can easily have more fun with a woman when all of the pressure is off.
Using an online dating service to find dates was once frowned upon and even considered scary. There are many online dating sites that have very short sign-up processes and others that require you to answer lots of questions. Online dating is not all fun and games and there are a lot of things that a person has to know about online dating before one gets into the intricacies of it.
The traditional argument for not using the internet to meet someone is that it is not natural. Whether you find your date online or in person, you could end up with a true love or a broken heart. Online dating is now a huge industry. If an online dater sends you threatening e-mails or makes you feel uncomfortable, you can simply report themto the online dating service and have their account revoked
Thursday, June 7, 2007
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Meet Ideal Partner Through Online Dating |
Teenagers and those in their adult years have gone through this rite of passage called dating Online dating has many benefits. A common question among friends these days is whether or not singles should try to meet their ideal partner through online dating.
As more people flock online, there are companies ever more eager to jump on the dating bandwagon. Whatever your thoughts on the matter, the web has changed the way people search for partners. Unless you date outside your box you will never know if maybe someone different just might be your type.
Dating sites offer many different options as far as what you can advertise you are looking for in a relationship. Using an online dating service to find dates was once frowned upon and even considered scary. Allow the incredible opportunity of online dating to work for you.
Most sites have online dating sites have help should you have any questions or need assistance. If you live in one of the major developed countries such as America or Canada, you will find that the majority of websites are centered around these countries as they lead the field in the area of internet development. Describe what you need and want in a relationship.
Since it's free to sign up and post your information and photo to most online dating websites, many people take that step with no intentions of going further.
Pen pal romance or online dating wouldn't change how men and women love, it changes the way how they fall in love. As more people are becoming completely comfortable with online communication and more people have access to Internet at home and at work, online dating sites have flourished. The internet has revolutionised the way we work, shop, conduct our financial affairs, and entertain ourselves. To use it as a medium for meeting new people is a logical step in our fast changing world.
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online dating, dating